Equality vs. Abusive

Today women's rights are an engrained and widely excepted part of our everday culture. Women are willing, able, and active members of our workforce. From corporate CEO's to the front lines of our military, women are heard and accouted for. So, where do we draw the line with the women's rights initiative? Yes, it needed to happen. Yes, equality between genders is right, just, and good. But, at what point does the notion become abusive?

Like all things new and uncharted, two extremes will be experienced before a healthy middle ground is established. If a man and a women make a choice as a couple to have the wife stay home and manage the family affairs, isn't that their choice as a couple rather than a gender issue? I believe our courts, greedy attorneys, and many women are unjustly abusing the opportunity to capitalize on cultural expectations of men. I'm not saying all, but...What happens in the battle to "take him out" and "capture" the kids? So, women now have the money and the kids. Now what? Feel better? Safer? Best for the kids? Who really wins when the kids only see their father two days a week and he's stressed to the hilt trying to figure out how to restablize? As difficult as it may seem at the time, let's practice a little restraint and do what's best for everyone. Responding intellectually is always better than reacting out of fear or anger. Attorney's make huge money feeding off of women's fears of financial insecurity. Also, what's factored into judicial decisions to kick dad out of their childrens lives and by doing so does it really make it any better for the children or the mom? Of course, I do acknowledge many men are terribly uninvolved with their own children, but not all and that's who I'm standing for. Yes, women should get their "fair share" and each scenario is different and complex, but let's try to practice a little maturity and self-control.

Lastly, while each party may feel justified in their actions, let's also remember to throttle back and make our own choices to do what's right vs. succumbing to the fear mongers. I believe opportunist reacting out of malice have a shorter and less vibrant shelf life. Our children will one day grow up and reflect on their own lives. What will they see and if asked what will you honestly be able to tell them?

Below is an article illustrating my point.
http://www.smartmoney.com/personal-finance/marriage-divorce/women-are-seeing-more-parity-in-divorces-21406/

Our Children's Reality Today

Statistically; drug use, teen pregnancy, and violence are at an all time high. Simultaneously, never before in history have both women and men worked more hours. Cause and effect? I promise you this, no one can parent my son like I can. Period. Baring given extreme scenarios, I don't believe this to be unusual. Hey moms. Dads. Let's go back to the basics. I don't care which parent is home when the kids get out of school, just as long as someone is present. One plus one is two and two is our next generation of decision makers. Our children need us to repriortize our day to day life structure. Let's get rigorous with our realities. I encourage all parents to create a sustainable life structure which allows greater presence in the lives of our children, and by doing so helping our kids keep their heads above water in today's sea of temptation and deceit. All kids will ever remember or care about is whether we were there or whether we weren't. What are some of the best memories you have with your family?

Excuses and Justifications

When I picked up Drew from school yesterday, he asked if he could play there at the school playground with some other kids. I agreed as we parked. We opened the back and pulled out a small arsenal of toys at the ready (ie. frisbee, soccerball, etc.). Shortly thereafter a healthy game of kickball broke out and all was right with the world. At this point all other children had left. Some time later the doors to the school opened and out came approximately twenty or so kids. In an odd turn of events, girls were screaming hello to Andrew as boys and girls came running out to play. Nearly a half dozen or so gathered up on the actual playground area vs. the dual purpose playground parking lot. Suddenly, a lady with a red YMCA shirt comes up and begins agressively yelling in the girls faces who were all huddled together talking. Apparently, it was not okay for them to be up there.

Excuses and justifications can be made for this caregivers actions. Perhaps she had told them they are not allowed up there multiple times previously. Or maybe there are too many kids for so few caregivers to adequately manage. Or perhaps she is simply underpaid and under appreciated. Nevertheless, in my opinion it is never appropriate for any caregiver to yell in the face of child. Much less, a child not your own. A nearby mother chimes in making me aware of the established reputation of two particular YMCA after-school care providers. With the YMCA having such an established reputation parents could easily justify working a few more hours in order to make a few more bucks while these sweet golden resume yielding ladies watched after their children. Undertone and hardship circumstances aside, I have to ask...Who and what are the priorities of these parents? I'm speaking to the parents who choose to have both parents working to make over six figures a year, while their children are raised by others. Would those parents continue with the same established priorities if they truly knew the way caregivers were behaving?

Our children need their parents, not a substitute teacher. Let's get in the game.

Cost of Our Choices

What are the cost of the choices we make as they relate to our children? What's the cost of the choice to work more hours in order to make more money? Who pays for your absence? Could you make less and be more present and available? Who pays when we justify pushing personal financial boundaries? Could we pull back on the spending, live below our means, and lead our children by being an example of financial responsibility. If we can afford the nicer things in life, that's great, but not to the point of irresponsibility. There's a balance between ambition and career security and being an active presence in the lives of our children. This is for each of us to carefully consider. As a culture we need to gain enough self-confidence to put our egos and pride down, hold ourselves accountable, and begin to truly see how we're living and the impact we're having on the youth of America. The next generation of decision makers needs our experience and our leadership now more than ever. Let's get in the game.