The Breakthrough Project for Men: November 23, 2008

Questions to Consider: Thinking like the judge. Being a devils advocate.

If you had full custody of your children, would you be ready?
What would the day to day living look like if you had full custody of your child or children (or the percentage of custody you are seeking)?
What would you do if there was an emergency?
How would they get to and from school?
What if they had to be picked up early from school due to illness?
How about transportation to and from after school activities?
How would you be able to spend personal time with your child or children?
What difference does it make who gets how much custody custody?
Why should you get the percentage of custody you are asking for?

Before an argument could ever be made in your defense, you must first be armed with realistic answers catering to the best interest of your child/children and you.

We can not raise our children as passively present parents. As in sports we must have a game plan. Whether preparing for an unfortunate divorce or parenting our children, we must know our strengths and weaknesses and anticipate not only the needs of our children, but the needs of ourselves.

Our kids will never remember first how much money the household had and secondly how seldom you were actually present in their lives. It is incredibly selfish and vain to place a greater priority on our own professional success over our success as parents. To allow work to consume our lives over our children is to fail not only our children, but also our culture as a whole. I believe this to be evident by looking at today's modern culture. While there is much to be proud of, there is a very large gap between how we see ourselves what is actually so. Example...Most American households think they are doing a reasonably good job with their finances, while in 2006 Americans experienced a negative 4% savings rate. This means while someone was telling you they were doing a good job managing their personal budget, they were actually spending more than they even made. I believe this same type of gap exists in our parenting skills. It is time for us to wake up and get actively consciously involved with the ins and outs of our childrens lives. Not simply in the doing of their lives. And not just in the lives of our children, but in all children. I challenge you to challenge yourself to be the best parent you can be. Period.

The Breakthrough Project for Men: November 23, 2008

After two weeks of researching the topic of men in America I'm having the experience of being motivated and somewhat overwhelmed. Below you will find some great resources for support, information, and inspiration.

• http://www.meetup.com/ for groups of likeminded individuals your local area.
• http://www.mkp.org
• http://www.dadsdivorce.com/
• Stephen Baskerville's book "Taken Into Custody"
• John Eldridge's book "Wild At Heart"
• more to follow.

Currently I've spoken with nearly a dozen men who have each had powerful experiences associated with divorce, being a single father, and simply being a man in America today. I will begin to document these conversations by way of audio files and will make those conversations and interviews available. Do you have any experiences, thoughts, questions, or suggestions to share? Any resources you've found particularly useful or inspiring? I'm here to help anyone who is looking for support in the areas divorce or personal growth.