On the Other Side

What's on the other side of divorce? At least when young children are involved, there's still years and years of relationship and issues requiring both of you. Issues at school. Emotional health issues. Physical health. Disciplinary issues. Upbringing issues. The shaping of study habits, manners, and a childs relentless pursuit to identify boundaries. Above all else a child of divorced parents requires consistency between homes. To be optimally effective, this requires communication and compromise. That said, if these were your strongsuits you two very well may still be married. Thus, my point. We all know the choice to divorce does not happen overnight, is incredibly difficult, and by no means are all scenarios the same. But, why does it seem parents are more willing to make the childs needs a priority AFTER the divorce vs. before hand? Before hand seems to be riddled with pride, ego, and battle. While afterwards it seems to be less pride, ego, and battle and more whatever needs to happen for the child (to some degree anyway). After all, if the welfare of the child is a priority, both parents must submit their pride and ego, summon their strongest diplomatic communication skills, and be willing to compromise certain things in the best interest of the child. It is this very same skill set needed in-house prior to divorcing, but it seems to be lost somewhere along the road leading to divorce. I get the personal freedom one will experience post divorce vs. being bound by the walls of your home you both live in. However, I do want to introduce the fact that when a child is involved you will forever have a relationship with your wife, like it or not, and in the interest of the children we must do everything we can beyond the shadow of a doubt. I for one feel as though I could have done more. I don't know what, but...For Drew, anything would have been worth it. In short, children will experience our choice to divorce for the rest of their lives in one capacity or another. I've seen my sister and brother-in-law fight long and hard for their marriage and I'm left inspired and appreciative. Their example gives me hope and has taught me a lesson. Thank you Angie and Richard. I love you! All things said, I do get sometimes there's just nothing left. And, it just plain sucks.