A few years ago I went through this weekend program. We won't get into the program and so forth, but I do want to share some of what I took away from the weekend. I learned a lot about distinctions. For example...Who do you think you are vs. who you are actually being. I would ask, "What kind of man do you think you are? Do you know?" Then, I would follow up with, "Okay, Are you actually BEING that man? Really?"
Often times there is a large gap between who we think we are being and who we are ACTUALLY being. It can be a bit of a daunting talk...Finding out from others who you really come across as. Do you think you're good with money, but then go out with friends and blow money on frivilous items you could easily do without? Do you think your compassionate, but often fail to hear when people could really use your ear? Do you think your open-minded and then make definitive opinionated statements about topics you only have shallow knowledge of?
Before we can instill our character in our children, we must first make sure it's instilled in us. Do you live it? Do you walk the walk even under the most trying of times or do you fold under pressure? In today's day and age, it's a good time to find out what you're made of. Know who you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, and get in the game.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Expectations
About three years ago I had an ensight; which is all relationships succeed or fail based on clearly communicated and understood expectations. This simple understanding has helped me time and time again and is applicable across the board. Without established and understood expectations each party involved in the relationship will likely fail the other to no fault of their own. In short, I will fail you if I don't know what you expect from me.
This applies to our children as well. The best thing we have to offer our children is our experience. Let's let them know what lies ahead. This way, when something bad happens it wasn't a total surprise and they are better able to handle the many adversities in life. The range is endless so we must be communicating often. We're the engine telling the caboose what's around the corner. Every corner. At least now the caboose can have a fighting chance to make it around that surprise hairpin turn (the one you already knew was coming) and do so without some traumatic recovery experience.
Communicate, set, and establish expectations with your kids. Get in the game.
This applies to our children as well. The best thing we have to offer our children is our experience. Let's let them know what lies ahead. This way, when something bad happens it wasn't a total surprise and they are better able to handle the many adversities in life. The range is endless so we must be communicating often. We're the engine telling the caboose what's around the corner. Every corner. At least now the caboose can have a fighting chance to make it around that surprise hairpin turn (the one you already knew was coming) and do so without some traumatic recovery experience.
Communicate, set, and establish expectations with your kids. Get in the game.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Recommended Reading
Below is a short list of recommended reading.
- bringing up BOYS by Dr. James Dobson
- Fire In the Belly: On Being A Man by Sam Keen
- Iron John by Robert Bly
- Wild at Heart by John Eldridge
My feedback on each of these books can be found on postings forthcoming. Currently I've read Wild at Heart and am in the middle of bringing up BOYS. I'll post when finished with each of these four books. More to come.
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