Need one? Make one.
Make one based on who you are and what you stand for. Do a little research. Right down who you are and what you stand for. Research authors and topics of interest. Read. Get inspired. Get motivated. The truly successful motivate themselves. And, besides, what better motivator do you need than your own children? Shape them. Grow them. Raise them. They will emulate you and it's amazing to see. They are amazing. My son is amazing. Thank you son!
Make a playbook. Get in the game.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Keeping Score and Being Number One
It's not easy. If you didn't know, being number one never is. I'm talking about honestly acknowledging my secret desire to have my son like spending time with me more than with his mother. I'm sure this line of thought could be analyzed and picked a part to no end, but allow me to be real with you here.
I firmly believe men are competitive by nature. I remember my sons mother recently commenting on my acknowledging the score at one of his soccer games. We had just scored and were up by three. Yes, I know he's only six. However, she mentions the score doesn't matter and they are only there to have fun. Really? I couldn't get how different she saw things and, to be honest, how oblivious she was to truly understanding our son. You see, as she said this to me the boys were out on the field with huge smiles on their faces, giving each other high-fives, and....Yes, screaming, "We have like 1006 and they have 2." As a male, keeping score and having fun are not mutually exclusive. Keeping score is part of being competitive and a natural part of what it is to be a male. It's fun being competitive. We're born that way.
As a single parent it's easy to slip into an unhealthy and unspoken competition with your ex. It's currently 0400 and I've been woken up and drawn to the computer to document this point...Use the natural tendency to be competitive and the desire to be number one as a driving force to be the best father you can be. Rather than talking about or even somewhat focusing on the scoreboard, let's focus on the game. The game of being a great dad (no whiners allowed) is to be connected and stay connected to your kids. Get them. Know them. Work with them. Grow with them. Tiger's head is in the game. Jordan's head was in the game. Vince Lombardi was in the game. Cal Ripken, in the game. Sure, from time to time we're aware of the score, but let's keep our head in the game. Constantly improving. Always practicing. We're gonna make mistakes. Just keep getting better and better and better. Never stop. Never give up. My father used to always share this little saying with me..."I may be wounded, but I am not slain. Let me lay down and bleed a while, then rise and fight again." Like I said, it's not easy. And, it's not always fun. But, in the end, our kids will remember who was always there for them, who fought to teach them the essentials of life, and who loved them without fail. This is the game of fatherhood. It's one of the toughest battlefields we'll ever have the privilege of playing on. Enjoy the game. Play to win. God speed.
I firmly believe men are competitive by nature. I remember my sons mother recently commenting on my acknowledging the score at one of his soccer games. We had just scored and were up by three. Yes, I know he's only six. However, she mentions the score doesn't matter and they are only there to have fun. Really? I couldn't get how different she saw things and, to be honest, how oblivious she was to truly understanding our son. You see, as she said this to me the boys were out on the field with huge smiles on their faces, giving each other high-fives, and....Yes, screaming, "We have like 1006 and they have 2." As a male, keeping score and having fun are not mutually exclusive. Keeping score is part of being competitive and a natural part of what it is to be a male. It's fun being competitive. We're born that way.
As a single parent it's easy to slip into an unhealthy and unspoken competition with your ex. It's currently 0400 and I've been woken up and drawn to the computer to document this point...Use the natural tendency to be competitive and the desire to be number one as a driving force to be the best father you can be. Rather than talking about or even somewhat focusing on the scoreboard, let's focus on the game. The game of being a great dad (no whiners allowed) is to be connected and stay connected to your kids. Get them. Know them. Work with them. Grow with them. Tiger's head is in the game. Jordan's head was in the game. Vince Lombardi was in the game. Cal Ripken, in the game. Sure, from time to time we're aware of the score, but let's keep our head in the game. Constantly improving. Always practicing. We're gonna make mistakes. Just keep getting better and better and better. Never stop. Never give up. My father used to always share this little saying with me..."I may be wounded, but I am not slain. Let me lay down and bleed a while, then rise and fight again." Like I said, it's not easy. And, it's not always fun. But, in the end, our kids will remember who was always there for them, who fought to teach them the essentials of life, and who loved them without fail. This is the game of fatherhood. It's one of the toughest battlefields we'll ever have the privilege of playing on. Enjoy the game. Play to win. God speed.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Resources. Questions. Thoughts.
After spending more time reviewing and researching the resources available, I thought I would offer this input. Dad'sDivorce.com is a great resource of information and support. You can find answers to any questions you may have. I did. Also, check out the 24/7 dad'sdivorce radio. Not great for entertainment, but informative and validating. I say validating because I believe much of a fathers' experience of divorce is experienced relatively alone and in silence. Which brings me to meetup.com. Since joining a couple of chosen groups/clubs, I've met many new people and have been invited to several events. It's nice to get out once in while. I also found another great site www.fathers4kids.com.
Does the agreement fit what you are looking for? Never sign an agreement you aren't happy with. To go back and change it later is much more difficult. Get it right the first time.
Does the agreement fit what you are looking for? Never sign an agreement you aren't happy with. To go back and change it later is much more difficult. Get it right the first time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
